Mathilda (One of Five)

My scars are my moment O'Murrays [Trace means memento mori, the reminders of death. The rough translation is “remember you must die.” His response: “O'Murray knows what's going on. He related to the guy made Murphy's law?” -Dara]. Scars tell stories, remind you of something. I also got a blue cornflower tattoo on my left shoulder. It ain't a scar, but it definitely makes my heart hurt every time I think about what went on with that. So, I guess I got scars on my heart. I guess that also makes me a dame [Trace has feelings besides hate and anger. What happened? -Dara].

Aside from the tat, I think the most fun scar was the two inch one on the back of my hand. When I make a fist, it looks like a smile, at least to me. Slob on the receiving end just sees a frown sitting on top of my broken knucks. Mighta been thirteen or so years ago, back when you were in diapers, Dara [I was in middle school at the time. -Dara]. I was sitting around reading the paper when someone knocked. Nearly fell out of my chair. Eight in the morning, couldn't be good.

Mathilda woulda been four-seven if she coulda stood up straight. Metal cane, pill box hat and veil, blue suit. I invited her in, helped her sit, offered her some coffee. She took off the hat. Red eyed, she'd been crying all night. Dark black hair, finest dye money could buy. She looked like a little prune. Someone stole her garden gnome, and she wanted me to get it back. Her homeowner's association was judging lawns on Friday, and that gnome would win her the title for sure.

I asked her why she didn't just buy another one, cause it woulda been cheaper than hiring me. She told me it was the principal [Trace means principle, though the error is fairly common. I won't hold him liable for this particular mistake. -Dara] She said she would get whoever did it disqualified from the judging. I asked her what the cops thought. They just laughed at her. I wasn't the first PI she'd been to, but I was the first hadn't laughed. Good thing I wasn't gonna drink for another couple hours that morning.